Black Sunday

Well, there you have it just as Haunted predicted. The Spanish Scourge has destroyed a once fine team, and rumors have it that last night, late, five whiskeys into his trophy case, Rodriguez was doing the old drunk and dial. And who was he dialing? You've got it again. Roxbury Fleet.

To quote Fleet.."I could hardly understand the man, he was a weepin and carrin on, like some girl, I mean... it was just a game."...
"I said, coach, hang in there, I'll be coming I am makin progress, I'm trying, I know you need me. But please Coach, stop the howlin, it ain't becomin"

What can we say, it's a mess, millions of dollars on a coach, millions of dollars on a team, millions of dollars on elite sky boxes... and.. The blue cannot even beat Utah. OUCH!! They should have spent their money on a Library or perhaps some maize and blue rubber duckies to float about in Barton Pond.

The Big Game- A Shame-The Once Mighty Blue Against Utah

Well, the new coach must be rising this morning with butterflies in his belly.
The Scourge, and some say, destroyer of a fine football/slash academic institution, today places Michigan on the mat. And unfortunately, as predicted, Roxbury Fleet will be no where to be found. But, there will be too many quarterbacks, and probably too many of them dropping the ball and flubbing plays.

Prediction-Defeat

So sing the Victors Guys and Gals, remember when, and hope against hope for Roxbury Fleet.

Future Unsure on the Banks of the Huron

Where is Roxbury Fleet when I need him? That's what coach Rodriguez must be thinking this AM as he rises from an unsettled sleep. Because Rodriguez has a quarterback problem, and it does not look like Roxbury is going to get through high school in time for Saturday's big game with Utah.

To hear the coach tell it, he is keeping those quarterbacks in limbo, he will tell them, but he may not even announce it to the world before the game.

"They won't go into waking up Saturday morning, wondering who's starting," he said Wednesday. "They'll know, but I'm not sure I'll announce it. Don't really see why I have to."

Could he be sandbagging, hoping againts hope that somehow the Cyclops may yet emerge, some last minute favor from God, a chariot of hope, to carry the Michigan team to victory over those Bee-Bozos from Utah?

This comment from the Ann Arbor news is unsettling.

"No matter which player starts -And neither has yet to throw a pass in college. It's likely that the other will get playing time, too. Rodriguez said he'll make any quarterback switches Saturday based on intuition rather than by following a pre-set plan."

And the coach is already planning on screw ups.

"What I don't want is a quarterback to worry about every mistake; 'If I make a mistake, I'm coming out,' " Rodriguez said. "Sometimes you have to fight through that. If we're making really, really bad mistakes a lot, sometimes you have to calm 'em down, too. Again, that's more of a feel thing. If we need a spark or if it looks like we need to calm one of the other quarterbacks down, then we'll bring them to the side."

So come on all you Michigan men and ladies, hope, just hope against hope that somehow, someway, soon, perhaps tomorrow, that the Cyclops makes it to the Big Game.
It may be that all eyes wait for Roxbury Fleet.

It may be that coach Rodriguez, judging by his statements, needs remedial English too.

Excitement Builds in River City

Yes folks, in the town of Two Ann's, and an Arbor, a place that once succored the weary traveler. On the banks of the Huron, excitement is building for the Big Game.

Yesterday at the diag, if you were magic enough to see it, there was a huge rally. Students, alums, and the Pom Pom gals, were out in force, trying out their new PA system and shaking their tushes like lilies in a hurricane. Cheers abounded, and slanders flowed. In the next few weeks no one is liking Utah.

Smight those Mormons
Put them in their place
Kick some sand
Right in their face

Utah is a state
that really sucks
full of frauds
And run amok's

Go Blue, Go Blue
Kill their team
Brigham Young
Was nasty, old
And obscene.

Yes folks, the crowds were cheering as the Pom Pom gals dittied about. Spirits are high, and it ain't only whiskey, and Chardonnay.

Meanwhile: it doesn't look good for Roxbury Fleet's arrival for Utah. Try as he might, Coach Rodriguez has been unable to steer him past the French Revolution. He seems to be stuck somewhere between the Rights of Man and the Guillotine. But, we can only hope that once he reaches the nineteenth century, he moves quickly by the Indian wars, the founding of Italy, three Napoleons... well you get the picture.

Hopes are not yet dashed, and it is still possible that the Cyclops will make it to the Big House before Ohio State.

GO BLUE

The Haunted Wolverine

Down to the Wire-Roxbury Fleet Passes English

It is getting close folks. Can Rodriguez, the Scourge from crackerville pull it off? Doubtful, but possible. Yet, after spending a week in Tennessee reading Dick Jane and Spot it appears he has had some success. Yes, Roxbury fleet passed coach Rodriguez's version of remedial English and appears to be right on track to get that high school degree. We may have a quarterback yet.

See Dick Run
See Jane Fall
See That Spot
Go After The Ball

Over and over he had Roxbury parse this bit of verse, and low and behold a great big Go Blue Victory may be in the making. Now, if the Scourge can get Roxbury through math, world history, and science in the next week, there is still a chance the Cyclops may arrive just in time to save the day...Yes our one eyed version of Mighty Mouse.. may come in time to pull of a victory over Utah. And then it will be on to such hallowed programs as Toledo in a couple of weeks

Roxbury Fleet Struggles for High School Equivalency

Michigan's coach Rodriguez announced today that all is not lost in the search for a new quarterback. And while Roxbury Fleet seems to be having difficulty meeting the high Michigan academic standards, the Scourge seemed hopeful.

"He's old enough to play, in fact I just found out he's nineteen, some problem about first grade, I think", said Michigan's coach Rodriguez. "But I have my best boys on it. We're gonna get Roxbury here as soon as possible. After all whats more important an education or football?"

Rumors abound that without Fleet the Scourge may be forced to run the dreaded two quarterback offense. "You gotta do, what you gotta do...I mean I need to earn all that money" coach Rodriguez is reported to have said. "Hell if I have to go to Tennessee myself.. I'll get that kid to pass the dam test. We need the Cyclops now."

As Haunted writes this post, he sits laptop in hand at the edge of the big top, I mean house. The cheerleaders are practicing a new cheer.

"We need the Cyclops here
Today
Because he can't see
The other way"

Pompoms wave and the air is sweet with departing summer, and the cheerleaders they... well they're jumpin.

So Who Ever Heard About Roxbury Fleet?

No one and that’s the key.

Michigan Football while struggling to find a place in the preseason polls, may have scored a coup for next season. “Oh if we could only get him to drop out of high school and come play this year”, said the Spanish Scourge ( the new Michigan Coach) “We could fix it. I’d give him all A’s” Rumors are the Scourge went on to rant about the silly need to finish high school if you were already good enough and large enough to play college ball.

So, what’s the fuss about? Just listen to the Scourge. “ A phenom that’s what”. Because hidden away in Two Creeks Tennessee, the Scourge has found what may be the best quarterback of all-time. “You’ve got to see this kid” he is reported to have stated. “Fucking incredible”. Forget about schoolin he won’t need any, hell he could probably play in the NFL today. I know he can play for Michigan. And I didn’t even have to promise him much. The Kid likes the helmet...Well, we can’t all be smart. I told him he could have ten of em”

What’s so special you might ask? Well on top of being a great athlete and a mighty passer, the defense can’t read this kid. “We nicknamed him the Cyclops....He’s only got one eye... And that patch it fools em”, says the new Michigan Coach.

“You know, that monster from Homer...the sheep, or was it goats that those men escaped with... That blind thing that was biting off those sailor's heads.” Michigan’s new coach was educated in the classics it appears because “he knows one good eye when he sees one”, said the Dean of Football.

“We’re still trying to sign him up this year. Hell, can you imagine that eye-patch, one game blue, the next game maize?”

So fans, you can only hope, maybe this year... But next year, watch out, because the Cyclops is coming to town.

Waiting for A Jimbo Post

We at the Haunted Wolverine are waiting for the next information and analysis post for our Team. The Mighty Blue. But since we have no facts we will need to make some up.

Mudville or not... Well it rains a lot in Ann Arbor in the fall, and then it snows. So Haunted remembers the games of muddy men and slippery balls, ripped sod, and shameless ball handling. Not to mention the cold and blustery rides to the stadium, it was not yet the Big House, on his bycycle. So, it is likely Ann Arbor will be muddy, but it may not be Mudville, or have they changed the turf again... who can keep track?

But it is time for a quick team analysis. Michigan has a lot of big young guys. They have lumberers and runners fleet. They have passers and snappers, scamperers and blockers. And they have plays.

How this mass of pituitary cases will manifest as a team is still unknown. But, be sure, it will be exciting with this new coach... Let's give him a nickname. The Spanish Scourge.

Hurry up Coach, Jimbo. Fill in the dots. We need information.

Wolverine Fights off Wolf Pack

click here for the Mighty Wolverine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WjNd-G7uvo

TID BITS ABOUT THE WOLVERINE

"CLOSE your eyes and think of Canada. Perhaps the picture that comes to mind is one of a country of cold winters and civilised prosperity. But Stephen Harper, the country's Conservative prime minister, has another idea. This month he suggested that the national image was best captured by the wolverine, a sort of weasel.

That seems odd. Wolverines have some unpleasant habits. They emit a foul-smelling musk and eat carrion. They are close relatives of skunks and their name translates as “glutton” in French. But Mr Harper was thinking of their reputation for aggression and tenacity in the face of much larger predators. Canada is no mouse beside the American elephant, but a wolverine next to a grizzly bear, he said.…"

From the Economist

When Times Are Tough

WHEN TIMES ARE TOUGH
THE TOUGH GET GOING
SO COME ON BIG BLUE
GET THAT BALL ROLLING

Oh Woe Oh Woe

That's right fans, Oh Woe... the team is is ranked 24th in the nation in the pre-season poll. Could it be a lack talent or our new hustling coach, who has replaced good vibes with "shouting and expletives" according to the New York Times. Is this what it takes, and will all be forgiven if Michigan wins? Probably, Haunted does not know enough about the fellow. This Rodriguez from Crackerville. But in the waining age of Bush, why not, an unprincipled coach for unprincipled times, or do we want a good guy who can win. And is this man the one. Or is he just some hustling scalawag who happens to know how to win. Sad days...Haunted liked Bump Elliot.