Help Me Haunted- I'm Bored

Help me Haunted.

I can sense the sentiment. The economy rotting like a late summer peach, the stock market leaping about like a surging, speeding, hyped up junky of despair.
The Boys in Blue gone yellow and no respite, yet and probably. What’s a reader to do.

And more to the point... What’s a Michigan fan to do... Hope!

However as diversion: you may have wondered about the early life of Roxbury fleet, how that golf ball found his eye and squashed it, how his mother left his father, how his father married down, how his mother moved to Branson Missouri to work first with Debbie, and then to schlep at Dollies Dixie Stampede. How and the hell did this kid survive?

Well, about the eye, no Roxbury was not playing golf, he was caddying, carrying the clubs of a bloviated sansabelt clad slob of a member of the Two Creeks Country Club. Just trying to make some money, in the spirit he was always hearing about.... Hard-hard-work.

Long story short. Huffington Billings, Huff of the fifty four inch waste, and the Klan background. Huff Billings the former Wallace campaign chief had hired Roxbury for eighteen, and finally as his game grew lame then lamer. On that fateful day as his consumption of those mint juleps stashed in that giant silver flask increased, Huff began to stagger, and by the seventeenth hole he could hardly stand up.

Roxbury positioned him before the ball stepped back and Huff stumbled, swung wildly, and that was all she wrote for our boy’s left eye. Squashed. And with no health care, and no lawsuit ( Huff was the judge, there was no money even for an ambulance) Roxbury’s family was bought off.... The reason for mother leaving father and father sliding down the slippery slope and Roxbury having trouble with his reading....it happens in America.

But our boy was a natural, and the lost eye a blessing as we described, at least for football, because no one knows where the kid will throw... and the rest is history... Until The Scourge of Michigan found our boy, and tutored him, and all was set. Then, of course, you know of Jenny Swindle....she saw money in the future, but instead she got his kid growing in her belly, and lately... Last week, she’s been pushing Jesus hard... And Roxbury may be sliding down that hopeless Christian slope....We wait...

More to come on Friday before the Big game.